On Sunday, 17 October 2010, my father passed away.
This has been a hard month!
Here's the talk I gave at his funeral. The tone and content are different from my brother's funeral. I wanted to explain to people why my dad was so hopeful and cheerful right up to the end.
First, on behalf of my family, I want to thank each of you for being here today. And I want you to know that my dad would remember and recognize each of you and be able to tell you exactly what impact you had on his life. He was a person who loved readily and who enjoyed so much about the people who came into his life. Thank you for taking this time to remember him.
Shortly after my dad was diagnosed with cancer for the third time, a writer with the local newspaper contacted my mom and dad. She was writing a feature on couples who were dealing with terminal illness, and wondered if Jim and Mary would be willing to tell their story. They were, and the article was published. I remember seeing the article and being struck by the photos of the couples who participated. Some were obviously torn with pain and anticipatory grief; Jim and Mary were smiling and obviously in love. The comments of the couples were also interesting. While some were despondent, Jim and Mary’s comments were cheerful. They were not deluded. They were hopeful. But their hope was not that somehow Jim would escape cancer’s devastating grasp. It was something else.
And that brought to mind Peter’s advice to Christ’s early church as he wrote in the New Testament book of 1 Peter, chapter 3, verse 15: “…and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you….”
Jim was a person whose “hope” was firmly rooted in his faith in Jesus Christ.
That faith began with the idea that God was his Heavenly Father and that, as such, God had a plan for Jim’s life – just as he has a plan for the lives of all his children. As Jim understood it, God’s plan involved three things: 1) gain experience; 2) gain knowledge; and, 3) prepare to return to God when this mortal life is over.
Jim also believed firmly that happiness was the main goal of God’s plan for his children. In fact, one of his favorite quotes came from Joseph Smith, who taught that, “happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof if we pursue the path that leads to it.”
That happiness is peace, and it comes in right living. It does not equate to life without troubles or worries. Rather it is an assurance and a reassurance.
Those who knew Jim would certainly say that he was a cheerful, happy person. He was the kind of person who always met you with a smile and when he asked you how you were doing, you knew he really wanted to know. He tried to live the “Golden Rule” and to treat others as he would want to be treated.
Jim was eternally curious. He wanted to know about everything and wanted to experience as much as he could. There is so much to experience and to learn that is wonderful and pleasurable and enjoyable and, as long as it didn’t cost very much money, my dad was up for the experience. From raising sheep to flying gliders, Jim was ready to try.
Of course, mortality has a down side, too. As part of God’s plan, our mortal existence has pain, struggles, disappointments and sorrow. Jim knew his share of these with mortal frailties, professional disappointments, physical sickness and pain, and the loss of a child. So, why and how did he have the “hope” Peter talked of?
Sometimes the burdens of this life can seem too great to bear by ourselves.
As prophets have taught through the ages, Jesus Christ came to take upon himself our sorrows, our sufferings, the pain of our mistakes and lapses in judgment, as well as to suffer the consequences for our sins. IF WE WILL LET HIM, he will take our pain from us. IF WE WILL LET HIM, he will replace the weight of our burden with his peace.
Perhaps the most generous and loving invitation in all scripture is found in Matthew, chapter 11, verses 28 through 30, where the Savior pleads with us, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
When life gave Jim something that was just too heavy for him to carry, he often turned to the Savior, Jesus Christ, and traded his burden for “light”.
Another thing that is part of this life, and a part that separates us from God’s presence, is the death of our physical bodies. That’s really the reason we’re here today, isn’t it? We want to celebrate the life of someone we loved and to comfort each other in our loss. But what is the outcome of this death?
Paul taught the Corinthians, in his first letter to them, the 15th chapter and 22nd verse, that, “as in Adam all shall die, even so, in Christ shall all be made alive.” In other words, while none of us will make it out of this life alive, all of us will enjoy the free gift of resurrection because of Jesus Christ. That means that regardless of what we have done or not done; what we believed or disbelieved; all of us will have our spirit reunited with our perfected bodies and that we will live forever.
Amulek, an ancient prophet taught that, “There is a death which is called temporal death, and the death of Christ shall loose the bands of this … death, that all shall be raised from … death. The spirit and the body shall be reunited again in its perfect form; both limb and joint shall be restored to its proper frame … and we shall be brought to stand before God …. Now, this restoration shall come to all, both old and young, both bond and free, both male and female, both the wicked and the righteous; and even there shall not so much as a hair of their heads be lost; but every thing shall be restored to its perfect frame …. This mortal body is raised to an immortal body … that they can die no more; their spirits uniting with their bodies, never to be divided….”
And so, the short answer to the question that came to my mind after reading the newspaper article years ago is, “My mom and dad enjoyed peace of mind because of the hope that they had – and have – in the power of Jesus Christ to reclaim them from death, to comfort them in their sorrows, and to redeem them from sin.”
I have that same hope. I feel it deeply and know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, the Redeemer of the world; and that he has power to take our burdens and make them light. And I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
2 comments:
John, this is absolutely beautiful. So sorry to read about both the loss of your father and your brother.
Sending our love,
Jared and Anne Marie
Thank you for sharing...it was exactly what I needed to "hear" this morning...you are the best bro in law I could ask for...so sorry John...love you.
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