My Dad...

On Sunday, 17 October 2010, my father passed away.

This has been a hard month!

Here's the talk I gave at his funeral.  The tone and content are different from my brother's funeral.  I wanted to explain to people why my dad was so hopeful and cheerful right up to the end.

First, on behalf of my family, I want to thank each of you for being here today. And I want you to know that my dad would remember and recognize each of you and be able to tell you exactly what impact you had on his life. He was a person who loved readily and who enjoyed so much about the people who came into his life. Thank you for taking this time to remember him.

Shortly after my dad was diagnosed with cancer for the third time, a writer with the local newspaper contacted my mom and dad. She was writing a feature on couples who were dealing with terminal illness, and wondered if Jim and Mary would be willing to tell their story. They were, and the article was published. I remember seeing the article and being struck by the photos of the couples who participated. Some were obviously torn with pain and anticipatory grief; Jim and Mary were smiling and obviously in love. The comments of the couples were also interesting. While some were despondent, Jim and Mary’s comments were cheerful. They were not deluded. They were hopeful. But their hope was not that somehow Jim would escape cancer’s devastating grasp. It was something else.

And that brought to mind Peter’s advice to Christ’s early church as he wrote in the New Testament book of 1 Peter, chapter 3, verse 15: “…and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you….”

Jim was a person whose “hope” was firmly rooted in his faith in Jesus Christ.

That faith began with the idea that God was his Heavenly Father and that, as such, God had a plan for Jim’s life – just as he has a plan for the lives of all his children. As Jim understood it, God’s plan involved three things: 1) gain experience; 2) gain knowledge; and, 3) prepare to return to God when this mortal life is over.

Jim also believed firmly that happiness was the main goal of God’s plan for his children. In fact, one of his favorite quotes came from Joseph Smith, who taught that, “happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof if we pursue the path that leads to it.”

That happiness is peace, and it comes in right living. It does not equate to life without troubles or worries. Rather it is an assurance and a reassurance.

Those who knew Jim would certainly say that he was a cheerful, happy person. He was the kind of person who always met you with a smile and when he asked you how you were doing, you knew he really wanted to know. He tried to live the “Golden Rule” and to treat others as he would want to be treated.

Jim was eternally curious. He wanted to know about everything and wanted to experience as much as he could. There is so much to experience and to learn that is wonderful and pleasurable and enjoyable and, as long as it didn’t cost very much money, my dad was up for the experience. From raising sheep to flying gliders, Jim was ready to try.

Of course, mortality has a down side, too. As part of God’s plan, our mortal existence has pain, struggles, disappointments and sorrow. Jim knew his share of these with mortal frailties, professional disappointments, physical sickness and pain, and the loss of a child. So, why and how did he have the “hope” Peter talked of?

Sometimes the burdens of this life can seem too great to bear by ourselves.

As prophets have taught through the ages, Jesus Christ came to take upon himself our sorrows, our sufferings, the pain of our mistakes and lapses in judgment, as well as to suffer the consequences for our sins. IF WE WILL LET HIM, he will take our pain from us. IF WE WILL LET HIM, he will replace the weight of our burden with his peace.

Perhaps the most generous and loving invitation in all scripture is found in Matthew, chapter 11, verses 28 through 30, where the Savior pleads with us, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

When life gave Jim something that was just too heavy for him to carry, he often turned to the Savior, Jesus Christ, and traded his burden for “light”.

Another thing that is part of this life, and a part that separates us from God’s presence, is the death of our physical bodies. That’s really the reason we’re here today, isn’t it? We want to celebrate the life of someone we loved and to comfort each other in our loss. But what is the outcome of this death?

Paul taught the Corinthians, in his first letter to them, the 15th chapter and 22nd verse, that, “as in Adam all shall die, even so, in Christ shall all be made alive.” In other words, while none of us will make it out of this life alive, all of us will enjoy the free gift of resurrection because of Jesus Christ. That means that regardless of what we have done or not done; what we believed or disbelieved; all of us will have our spirit reunited with our perfected bodies and that we will live forever.

Amulek, an ancient prophet taught that, “There is a death which is called temporal death, and the death of Christ shall loose the bands of this … death, that all shall be raised from … death. The spirit and the body shall be reunited again in its perfect form; both limb and joint shall be restored to its proper frame … and we shall be brought to stand before God …. Now, this restoration shall come to all, both old and young, both bond and free, both male and female, both the wicked and the righteous; and even there shall not so much as a hair of their heads be lost; but every thing shall be restored to its perfect frame …. This mortal body is raised to an immortal body … that they can die no more; their spirits uniting with their bodies, never to be divided….”

And so, the short answer to the question that came to my mind after reading the newspaper article years ago is, “My mom and dad enjoyed peace of mind because of the hope that they had – and have – in the power of Jesus Christ to reclaim them from death, to comfort them in their sorrows, and to redeem them from sin.”

I have that same hope. I feel it deeply and know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, the Redeemer of the world; and that he has power to take our burdens and make them light. And I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Election Law Violation...?

Many of us have heard about the US Department of Justice's decision not to prosecute voter intimidation cases when the victims are white.

That is a sad fact, but a fact just the same.

Now we have another instance of election law violation.  It was probably inadvertent and almost certainly (greater than 85% probability) did not change the voter's preference.  However, it was wrong.  And the fact of who violated the law makes it that much more concerning. 

According to the Drudge Report, Mrs. Obama engaged in a brief political discussion inside a polling place while voting early in Illinois.

I would normally link to an article, but in this case, I have just copied it from http://www.drudgereport.com/.

FIRST LADY CAMPAIGNS INSIDE POLLING PLACE

Thu Oct 14 2010 16:19:25 ET

First lady Michelle Obama appears to have violated Illinois law -- when she engaged in political discussion at a polling place!

The drama began after Mrs. Obama stopped off at the Martin Luther King Center on the south side of Chicago to cast an early vote.

After finishing at the machine, Obama went back to the desk and handed in her voting key.

She let voters including electrician Dennis Campbell, 56, take some photos.

"She was telling me how important it was to vote to keep her husband's agenda going," Campbell said.

According to a pool reporter from the CHICAGO SUN-TIMES at the scene, the conversation took place INSIDE the voting center, not far from the booths.

Illinois state law -- Sec. 17-29 (a) -- states: "No judge of election, pollwatcher, or other person shall, at any primary or election, do any electioneering or soliciting of votes or engage in any political discussion within any polling place [or] within 100 feet of any polling place."

A top Ilinois State Board of Elections official tells the DRUDGE REPORT that Mrs. Obama -- a Harvard-educated lawyer -- may have simply been ignorant of the law and thus violated it unintentionally.

"You kind of have to drop the standard for the first lady, right?" the official explained late Thursday. "I mean, she's pretty well liked and probably doesn't know what she's doing."

WHITE HOUSE DEFENDS ELECTIONEERING

When questioned about the brazen nature of Mrs. Obama's campaigning, press secretary Robert Gibbs defended the action.

"I don't think it would be much to imagine, the First Lady might support her husband's agenda," Gibbs smiled.

Developing...

Paul...

On Friday, September 24th, my youngest brother, Paul killed himself.

I'm going to miss him for the rest of my life.

Paul was 12 years old when I joined the Army.  After that, we didn't see much of each other until about 4 years ago, when he met his wife, Justine.  Since then, Paul and I had become close friends.

Justine asked me to speak at his funeral.  Here's what I said.

Years ago I called my mom. One of my brothers and I had gotten into a discussion about which of us four boys was her “favorite” and I was going to settle the issue.


I asked, “Mom, who was your favorite child?”

Without hesitating, her response was quick and frank, “Oh! Paul.”

I think that we all here knew Paul in some pretty diverse ways and circumstances. Some of us played hard with him. Some of us worked hard with him. Some of us grew up with him. Some of us raised him.

All of us loved him.

And all of us knew some common things about Paul.

Paul was a person who did everything with enthusiasm. He put everything he had into whatever was at hand. Enthusiasm was his trademark.

Paul looked like the kind of guy you never wanted to meet in a dark alley, and he was the kind of guy you wanted to have with you in a fight. He was big, powerful, alert and loyal.

Paul had a sense of justice that guided him in almost everything he did.

When Paul was a teenager he was driving across the Bay Bridge in my dad’s Jeep. He accidentally cut a man off at the toll plaza and the man got upset. Paul gestured an apology, but the other driver would not let it go. Finally, after extended verbal abuse, Paul agreed to get through the toll booth and settle the matter on the side of the road. When the other driver got out of his sports car Paul saw that he was no less than six feet, five inches tall and easily fifty pounds heavier than Paul was. Not one to run, but also not foolish, Paul picked an old axe handle out of the back of the Jeep. The fight was short and settled decisively.

Paul never wanted trouble in anything he did, but when it came he faced it head-on and used every resource available to own and resolve the problem.

Paul had his leg amputated and returned to work within two weeks of the operation. He walked on a temporary prosthesis while the swelling went down. Those who know Paul’s work will know that he never had a comfortable office job. At the time he was working on a concrete crew. One afternoon shortly after the operation, dusty, scratched, scraped and bloody, he was driving home and saw a cardboard sign that read “Hungry. God Bless!” His sense of justice was severely offended and he pulled his truck to the side of the road. He got out, walked around the front of the truck, and removed his right leg. Shaking it at the comfortable-looking young man who held the sign he shouted, “Get a job, you bum!” Then, feeling a little better, he got back into his truck and continued home.

Paul was intolerant of laziness, but eternally willing to help the weak and truly needy. I’ve seen that side of him as he has played and interacted with my children. I’ve seen that side of him as he has guided amateurs and tourists through piles of whitewater.

On one trip Paul was leading, a boat guided by another person and belonging to another company than the one Paul was with turned over. The boat, loaded with a group of middle-aged women friends from the Midwest, was ahead of Paul’s boat as it attempted to negotiate an eight-foot waterfall. Despite the guide’s best efforts, the boat capsized and its occupants were thrown into the cold, roiling water. The women panicked. Several of them started having anxiety attacks. Paul steered his boat over the falls, then rowed back up the river to where the women were all floating on their backs in an eddy. He spoke calmly, firmly and reassuringly to them and, despite the fact that every one of them outweighed him he pulled them into his already full boat one at a time and took them to the shore.

I’ve seen that side of him as he has cared continually for my dad in his last and hardest years of cancer. He’s done simple things like making sure my dad gets to watch enough Military Chanel to remember he’s a man, and taking him with him to the hardware store, and sneaking him away to have a steak instead of one more chicken breast for dinner.

Paul had an intensely pure heart. He only wanted good. Good fun. Good work. Good friends. A good life.

And he found that with Justine. In the four or so years that Justine has been in his life, I got to know Paul better than in the twelve years we lived together growing up. Thanks to Justine, Paul became my brother and not just a sibling.

When I heard that Paul was dead, one of my first thoughts was that there was no one there to meet his spirit. No parent, no close grandparent, no one. And then in my mind’s eye I saw Paul. He was walking in a big open space toward another person.

I thought it was weird and wondered who he was walking to. Then I saw that Paul was walking toward Jesus. And Jesus had his arms stretched out to welcome him. They hugged and Jesus started showing Paul around, making sure he was comfortable, and explaining the next steps; what he could expect and what to look out for – a lot like Paul used to give people his river safety briefings before a trip.

And my heart was comforted.

I am certain that all the pain that Paul lived with will be healed through Jesus Christ’s atonement. And I am certain that the pain we feel at the loss of Paul can also be healed through Jesus if we will let it be.

Paul, we say “thank you” for being part of our lives and for letting us be part of yours. We miss you and we love you.